Sometimes pain is the direct cause of sexual problems. You simply hurt too much or feel too tired for sex. If your pain is so severe that sex seems out of the question, talk to your doctor. You may need different or stronger pain-control medication.

On the flip side, pain medication can sometimes cause sexual problems. Some medicines diminish sex drive (libido) or inhibit sexual function by causing changes in your nervous system. Drugs also may affect blood flow and hormones — two important factors in sexual response.

Chronic pain can also drive an emotional wedge between you and your partner so that neither of you desires the other very much. Or, if pain has left you unemployed and unable to contribute to housework, your self-esteem could be so battered that you feel unattractive and undesirable to your partner. Awareness that your physical and emotional distance is hurting your partner may add to your anxiety, fear, guilt and resentment.

Sometimes underlying difficulties in your relationship come to the surface when you have a medical problem. If this happens, you may need to explore these previously hidden conflicts with your partner. Counseling may help.

Sexual intercourse is just one way to satisfy your need for human closeness. Intimacy can be expressed in many different ways.

• Touch. Exploring your partner's body through touch is an exciting way to express your sexual feelings. This can include cuddling, fondling, stroking, massaging and kissing. Touch in any form increases feelings of intimacy.
• Self-stimulation. Masturbation is a normal and healthy way to fulfill your sexual needs. One partner may use masturbation during mutual sexual activity if the other partner is unable to be very active.
• Oral sex. It can be an alternative or supplement to traditional intercourse.
• Different positions. Lie side by side, kneel or sit. Look in your library or bookstore for a guide that describes and illustrates different ways to have intercourse. If you're embarrassed to get this kind of book locally, try an online book retailer.
• Vibrators and lubricants. A vibrator can add pleasure without physical exertion. If lack of natural lubrication is a problem, over-the-counter lubricants can prevent pain associated with vaginal dryness.

Back massages have been bringing lovers together for centuries. From India to Japan, to brothels in the Wild West, relieving the tension that inevitably builds up in our back muscles can be both soothing and arousing. There are a lot of different types of manipulations that can be used to work out knots, promote health and increase general levels of wellbeing. It is also a great way to connect with a partner and gain a serious upper hand in any tally of good deeds with your lover.

Like a bull in a china shop, most of us wade into back massages without any idea of what is at stake. A good massage, as opposed to some pinching, prodding or poking rendition, can make that special someone turn to mush. Here at sexinfo101 we are going to give you the tips that are going make you look and feel like a cheap hooker with a PhD in pleasure. So take out your notebook, your red pencil and prepare to get the goods.

Effects

If you need some encouragement to either give or ask for a massage, then look no further. Although offering a single massage is a good pick-up technique, the effects of regular massages are cumulative, and incorporating massage into your monthly patterns (be it professional or relational) will give the greatest benefit. Regular massage can have the effect of strengthening and toning the entire body mechanism, and so help to prevent unnecessary strains and injuries that might otherwise occur due to excess tension and any resulting structural weaknesses. Massage can stimulate or calm the nervous system and thus help reduce fatigue, leaving the receiver with a feeling of replenished energy. At its best, massage has the potential to restore the individual - physically and mentally.